I didn’t want to do this but oh well. 

I’m hurt. Actually I’m more than hurt, I’m broken. I think about you almost every minute during my day, from waking up with no sort of motivation, walking to my classes alone, and forcing myself to sleep in the night just so my mind can rest. And if I’m not thinking about you I’m forced to anyways because every god damn thing that I see around me reminds me of you. It hurts how I can’t talk to you when I need you. It hurts how I can’t just hug or show affection towards you whenever I want to. It hurts how I can’t walk with you to class and ask what you did today. It hurts how I can’t say hi to you without a bit of hesitation.

But can you really blame me for feeling this way? The only person that I’m still in love with and want more than anything is not mine anymore. I’m sorry I can’t act like I’m okay and comfortable around you right now. It’s just because I’m far from okay, I’m lonely, and nothing right now is going right for me. 

Reading how you’re not sure what you did was what you wanted kills me. You made it clear that in the past months it was better for us to go our separate ways, and that was the only way you could be happy again. You’re afraid that I might not be there when you need me again, but I’m scared that there won’t even be a next time. I’m scared that your feeling of regret for what you did is for the time being only, and one day you’re going to wake up and just move on. I want you to be happy even if it means I can’t be with you, but knowing that you may have not wanted this leaves me not knowing what to do anymore. I’m lost in my own mind. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I’ll eventually feel better if we give it time, but in the end it won’t matter because I just want you to be happy. 

So if you needed some sort of satisfaction knowing I’m suffering and affected as much as you are, here it is.